No matter how many well wishers tell me to have a happy birthday I just can't muster the positive energy today. I still just feel old and lame and unaccomplished and alone. I think past a certain age, birthdays just kind of stop being fun for a lot of people. Last year I tried to have a conventionally fun birthday (my first bar birthday) and because so many people got me free drinks I got stupid drunk and it was a very gross episode that I don't ever want to relive.
So this year I decided to just have a low key relaxing day where I didn't do diddly squat (especially since I've been pretty busy with finally getting paid gigs lately, thank goodness). And even though it was nice to sleep in, I still just feel very BLAH overall. It's kind of a big number so now my mind keeps traveling to dark places of self loathing and fear about the future.
I don't know, I'm sorry about complaining about this when it's not really that big a deal, but I need to get this off my chest and I'm tired of dragging my friends down with this negativity.
Throwing in this silly crying Misha/Castiel gif because this post seriously needed some facetious levity.